Asaria Winnfield's Weblog

No Longer Posting

Asaria Winnfield — Sat, 20 Sep 2008 14:37:33 +0000

As you may have noticed, I have neglected this blog for some time now. The reasons behind it are mostly the fact that so many things have changed that I just don’t have the energy to bother keeping up with it all. I mostly login to Second Life just to check messages and that’s about it. I have come to no longer enjoy Second Life and most of my friends have moved on to other things and so shall I.

My time spent in SL (Second Life) was wonderful, exciting and very interesting to say the least. But it is finally time to move on and pursue things I had put off for so long in my RL (Real Life). I will miss, an do miss, all my friends that I have met over the past few years in SL. I miss the long nights of talking and hanging out, the dancing and parties, and you guys know what else ^.~

So to all of you, thank you for making SL, and some of you my RL, so much better. I really appreciate everything and I will always be a friend. Contact me anytime if you have my contact details ^.^

2 Years In SL

Asaria Winnfield — Mon, 04 Feb 2008 13:50:14 +0000

On January 26, Asaria has been in Second Life for exactly two years. I see others have big rez day parties and do lot’s of things on their rez day, but mine was just another day. I realize this is a small detail but it is something that meant something to me. I spent my rez day in a sandbox just working on scripts by myself. I knew nothing was planned because here recently, my friends seem to have drifted away. Yes, this bothers me some but I kinda knew it would happen.

Most times when I login now, I am just checking my group notices and then logging off again. Why is it that this is all I do now? Because I really don’t see much reason to be in Second Life now. Everyone is off doing their stuff and being with others, which is fine. I know that they have other friends and other people to do things with. It’s just the fact that they don’t even say hello or hey to me anymore when I login.

But anyway, I am not going to ramble about this anymore. My time in Second Life is coming to a close soon due to the fact that I really have no reason to be there anymore. I have scripts and things that I have made that I could sell, but I am never sure they are good enough to be sold. I have had a lot of ideas for things to do or things to make, but I just don’t have the drive to do it anymore. I miss having people to talk to when i login, even if it’s only 15 minutes. I login now and end up spending the whole time alone in a sandbox just standing/sitting there. I search events to find something interesting, but I show up and it’s nothing… a simple hello and then that’s it.

I am anti-social and yes I know that Second Life is a social thing. I try to have a conversation or start one, but most times it goes ignored. So I just give up after 30-45 minutes and return to the sandbox. So yea, I am tired of how things are going and I just want to quit and move on to something else. Yet, something keeps nagging me in the back of my mind and telling me “You need to be here for a reason.” I wish I knew what that was… cause I have no clue.

Will update more soon, I hope.

How Much Am I Worth?

Asaria Winnfield — Tue, 18 Dec 2007 04:43:57 +0000

HumanForSale.com – Fun Quizzes

And all this time I thought I wasn’t worth anything.

On My Mind

Asaria Winnfield — Sat, 15 Dec 2007 03:47:29 +0000

We all dream of our own paradise
Yet we can never achieve it
We long to find a place we belong
Somewhere to call home
A place to be free
But we really don’t know what freedom is
We fight many battles
We cause so much pain
All in the struggle of life
Paradise is a dream
A dream we will never see
A place that doesn’t exist
We are jealous of others
For many reasons
But the main reason is
We are not happy with ourselves
No one in this world is truly happy with themselves
No matter how much they think they are
Cause it’s not possible
That is how it is
We live our lives dreaming of a perfect world
But it only exists within
If it only exists within
Then I wish to dream forever
To dream forever
And be happy forever
The ultimate dream
A sad end but a happy beginning
That is the cycle of life

Sigh, Missing Snapshots

Asaria Winnfield — Fri, 14 Dec 2007 19:21:39 +0000

I attended a live music event yesterday where Cylindrian/Grace was performing for Elf Circle charity week. I managed to snap about eight snapshots of her performance, which was stunning. But now that I get ready to upload them to flickr to do my post, they are gone. I have no clue where they went to either, because I save my snapshots to one directory on my computer. No matter what operating system I am currently booted into, I always have a special “Snapshots from SL” folder. Yet nothing is there now, did gremlins eat my snapshots? I would love to know.

But anyway, the performance was wonderful and I will try to catch more of her performances in the future.

Updated About Page

Asaria Winnfield — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 09:11:57 +0000

I spent a long time writing up the history of Asaria (About) and a little bit about the person behind the avatar. I left comments open so people could leave any questions/comments for me. Please don’t think I wrote it (the RL me section [About(ME)]) to get sympathy from anyone or to make people feel sorry for me. I wrote it to show that people have various reasons for wanting to escape Real Life and enter Second Life.

Second Life to me is just that, a second life. It let’s me be me where i can’t really in real life.

Old Posts Added

Asaria Winnfield — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 07:29:14 +0000

I took this time, since I couldn’t sleep, to import all the posts & comments from my old site to here. When I decided to move everything over to WordPress, I wanted to have a fresh start. But what one plans on and what happens, are two totally different things. I mainly imported them all to show that I am really not sad about my past blogging, but that I am just not happy with how I blog in general.

I would love to be able to write like everyone else does and be able to express myself better. Most of the people that are close to me, know about my Real Life and what it all causes for me. This all has an impact on how I act and express myself. I don’t choose to be shy, withdrawn and anti-social. It happens due to the way my life has been in RL. I am not using that as a “crutch” like some of you might think.

There is a lot about me that causes “issues” for the “me” in SL. I try my best to keep it from causing problems in SL, but sometimes the harder you try the worse it gets. This is my case…

I plan on providing a little history of the person behind the keyboard on my about page. It will not be pretty but it should explain a lot of how you see the “me” in SL. I will be 100% honest about it as I feel honesty is the best policy.

Crazy People In SL

Asaria Winnfield — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 02:24:13 +0000

I just finished reading a blog post on Mean Girls Guide to SL where someone is selling the basic building blocks of SL. I mean, come on… this person needs to be stopped, sure it’s funny but really it’s just going to confuse the new people that enter SL. These are the basic building blocks of SL that anyone can get by clicking build, yet he is selling them in a shop (nice shop, but still) and this is not right at all.

Thanks Ipenda for the link

Personality Type

Asaria Winnfield — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 05:16:11 +0000

You Are An ISFP

The Artist

You are a gifted artist or musician (though your talents may be dormant right now).
You enjoy spending your free time in nature, and you are good with animals and children.
Simply put, you enjoy beauty in all its forms and live for the simple pleasures in life.
Gentle, sensitive, and compassionate – you are good at recognizing people’s unspoken needs.

In love, you are quiet and sweet yet very passionate. You love easily.
You have an underlying love for all living things, and it’s easy for you to accept someone into your heart.

At work, you do best in an unconventional position. You express yourself well and can work with almost anyone.
You would make a good veterinarian, pediatrician, or composer.

How you see yourself: Sympathetic, kind, and communicative

When other people don’t get you, they see you as: Incompetent, insecure, and overly sensitive

What’s Your Personality Type?

What Am I Really Doing?

Asaria Winnfield — Mon, 10 Dec 2007 02:56:09 +0000

I have been in Second Life for almost 2 years now…. and I have nothing to really show for it. I mean, I have awesome friends. But what do I really have to show? I have no income in SL, no job, no nothing really. This is kinda depressing to me. I have tons of ideas and dreams that I would love to see happen but no way to make them really happen. So why am I still in SL?

I have asked myself this question a few times and never can figure out an answer except for my friends. Recently, they have all been really busy and the time we spend is limited. Plus when we do get together, the conversations are kinda lacking mostly on my part. It is such a pain being anti-social in RL and now in SL. It kills me, yet I have no clue how to change it. I have tried so hard to do better, but fail every time.

Ok, I know I am always talking about myself. That is another of my issues. Every conversation ends up having something to do with me, it drives me nuts. I try my best to not do that but it happens.

Ok, enough for now…